Scooted over to Home Depot and picked up a Christmas tree.
It was easier than I thought, perhaps because of a slightly downhill return and a very mild tailwind in that direction.
Only two Plymouth drivers gave me trouble, but you kind of know crossing the McD's drive through exit that you have to be on edge, and the other guy thankfully jumped the gun at the light and blocked the crosswalk before I got there, so I could just exaggeratedly go around.