TTDP's Illegal Street Racing League: The Tipsy Sportsmen.
8 pubs visited, 7 pints drunk, 2 poos, 1 minute late, won by a minute.
I've never run this before - but really wanted to - as Tim always put it on a few days before a big race (normally BUCS or the National). At about the 3rd attempt I came up with what I figured my optimal route. I eschewed the lure of the 50-pointer at Lodge Moor it took away other scoring opportunities, instead focussing on the 30 pointers to the south and 40 pointers to the North. I then decided to drop one of the 30 pointers to leave me more time to hoover up more pubs, pints and points at the end if I had time.
Set off in the same direction as Paul Faust and Tim Rutter, last year's winner, but by Broomhill I was solo. Hit bad traffic at 2 road crossings - the only waits of the night - before hitting the Union Hotel in Netheredge. The Barman was a bit tardy but a pint of Moonshine was slow seen off in 3. On on to the Greystones, but not before accidentally ending up in an electricity substation, not the cut-through was after. Danger of Death avoided before a brief wait for a barman re-filling his till, a pint of Wild Swan in 2 before a precautionary early visit to the toilet whilst TTDP himself shouted 'SERVICE" at the barman.
A wrong turn in Bingham saw me scrambling through the Ranmoor Student village up to Crosspool and the required Sportsman of the night. Tactically no pint here, only a 20 pointer and didn't want to have too much too early. Time looking good so save the extra pints for later! Drop into Rivelin, a bit all over the road and some risky farts before digging in up to Wisewood. Guts now roiling and couldn't quite make it to the Wisewood in time... Once I eventually get there I'm behind a queue of runners and locals. Austin Frost and Simon are ordering points in 2 halves. I just ask for a pint (Acorn Barnsley Bitter?), see it off in one which impresses the barmaid, getting me a cheap pint.
Out on the road with Austin and I'm feeling ace heading up to Wadsley and down to the Horse and Jockey, where Sally Fawcett is blocking up the bar getting in her and Simon's 2 halves. Another 'wow' from the barmaid as I see it off in one (Stancil Pale Ale?) before giving it toes down to Hillsborough and on to my 3 'bonus' pubs. In and out of the New Barrack Tavern (Castle Rock Harvest Pale) in short time to impress the locals with another pint down in 1. If only they could see my SPOOK sub-3... Body feeling pretty good considering the beer, legs fresh and zingy despite the 80mins pavement pounding.
Onto the final straight now. Through Neepsend to The Forest for a pint of who knows what. Again impressing the locals getting it down in 1. Out the door quickly and a bit pushed for time, but just enough to swing by the Wellington - the lowest scoring pub but needs must after not drinking at the Crosspool Sportsman. The barman is a bit slow but again suitably impressed as I see off a pint of something Pale. Just the last climb to Roebuck Road now, it feels better than expected and I even manage to not nearly get run over which is a novelty for around here. Pushing hard as I tick over the time limit but limit my losses to 53s, one 5-point penalty sees my 400 reduced to 395.
Tim arrives a couple of minutes later, his penalties resulting in 395 points so, as well as setting a record for the most pints (7, 5 of which were in one, all around 5s I reckon) I win by finishing first. Doesn't take long to be pissed as a lord and chatting all kinds of bollocks around the BBQ - I owe Tim for some burgers as I spent most of my money on beer!
Over the last 5 years the max number of pints drunk has increased by one a year. 8 pints next year?...