Training Log Archive: carolineheloise

Travel day p.2

Travel day p.1

And so ends a disappointing week.
It’s so frustrating and unmotivating to have done so much hard work and then have things not go your way on the day and ending up so far from your goals.

Foot was sore every day during the warm up, some days worse than others. Tried to forget about it as much as I could and not let it affect me but I think it got to me a bit anyway.

I really struggled mentally through this whole week. I had no self confidence at all going into any of the races, which came from the things some people said about my training and preparation in the lead up, though I’m sure they probably didn’t mean to be so negative with what they were saying. It made me doubt everything I had done and feel like I didn’t have a place there and wasn’t good enough.
Of course it wasn't ideal, being injured right at the wrong time but I made what I could out of the situation and got a lot stronger and tougher and did a lot of mental prep in addition to the hours in the pool. And somehow I let these other things get to me and I didn't believe in myself from the second day of the train camp onwards.
Maybe I could’ve been better at reassuring myself but I did try, going through all the trainings and races I had done to try to bring back some confidence but I didn’t manage to convince myself to believe I could do it.

So now for some time away from orienteering to get the motivation back and some time off training to sort out my foot too. Hopefully I can start doing some trainings again at the start of august.
Then, new dreams, new goals, new focus.

JWOC Relay
Again, no motivation at all, so behind right from the start.
Mistake on #5, everyone went to the same forking which wasn’t mine and I didn’t relocate very well, took me some time to just stop and work it out, lost about 3mins. Lost 30s on #9, probably didn't take the best route, maybe it was a bit too safe and not worth the extra distance/climb. Winsplits says another 30s on #15 but I'm not sure that this is right, I was definitely being quite safe and cautious as I was by myself just off the back of a group so maybe thats why its coming up as red. Bad exit lost me 45s on #18, luckily realised soon ish but still. More fun when there was a few of us running together but otherwise feeling pretty meh about it because of the rest of the week.
The forest was actually really nice and would've been fun to go out there and just be able to enjoy it.

Couldn’t sleep

JWOC Middle B Final
Foot quite sore in the warm up so plan was just to take it easy, navigate and enjoy it. But just didn’t even care anymore after being told right before I started that I most likely wasn’t going to be in the first relay team anyway after the other 2 races (great pre race pep talk ! ) Holding back tears the whole way to when I was in the forest at the start triangle and then they all came out after I finished.

Thinking about how crap I apparently am had me distracted going to #2 so missed the gully + spur and lost 4mins or so there. Just didn't really care about the race after that talk this morning to be completely honest.
The rest was pretty straight forward, just struggling mentally from everything this week. Walked up some hills, tried to let myself just enjoy it but obviously couldn't because I felt so shit. Anyway. Gave some girls a tow in the last part, much more fun being a train driver than a passenger sometimes.

JWOC Middle Qual
Another frustrating run. Most of it was quite okay but then I just lost it all on a couple of controls.
Lost 2mins on #1 when I came out in the circle for #1 but couldn’t tell where the form line was and must’ve literally gone right next to the control without seeing it then lost time trying to figure out what had happened because knew I was in the right spot. Started to second guess myself right from the start.
Recovered okay and was running reasonably well until #8 where I didn't trust myself and what I was doing/had done and one hunting in the parallel gullies for an extra minute. Should've stopped and stood still and double checked before moving on.
And then #11. 4mins gone. I was too high and didn’t go around far enough of the hill. Also lost concentration for a split second which made me start to second guess what I was doing. Couldn’t keep my head cool or just stop, stand still and figure it out, so lost a lot of time trying to piece together where all the different big features put me but I just got more and more flustered.
Then I rushed on to the next control, not listening to myself or making sense of what I was seeing and reading, so lost another 1:15ish there.

Frustrating not to be able to pull it together and keep my cool when things aren't as I expected them to be. Lots to learn.
Easy to focus on the negatives but when things were going well, I was actually enjoying myself a little bit out there, it was a nice day and the forest was nice. Lots of blueberries which looked so yummy and juicy but forced myself to go past.

Not a good sleep

Went for a nice swim.

JWOC Long
I guess sometimes its just not fair. Some unexpected things not going my way (bess/wasp stings + nose bleed) and couldn't control.
Some quite okay parts otherwise and then also some of my own mistakes.
Foot really sore at the start, I was limping at the start of my warm up and had to stop and change my tape and shoes situation so that I could try to run.
A bit out of it at the start, but got my head in by the triangle. Lost about 30s in the circle on #1 though, couldn't tell which fallen trees were the mapped ones.
Lost 1:50 on #6 from not knowing where on the track I was because I was struggling to interpret the contours to come out of the gully, didn't look at the bigger picture and then didn't trust myself when I had figured it out. Quite hesitant going to #7 so probably another 30s there.
Coming into #10 I was stung twice by a wasp/bee on my leg which made me lose some time (about a min total) in the circle and then I could still feel it (maybe the sting was still stuck) running along the track after leaving the next control so again a bit distracted there and as a consequence not able to push as hard.
Then to make the day just a bit worse still, my nose started bleeding coming out of #12 and I didn’t climb enough so was too low and lost a 2mins at least on this leg. I think I just wanted to bail out of the forest and not climb to be able to process the nose bleed so took the rides and clearly didn't check my compass or read my map because I was busy trying to not bleed all over it and went the wrong way.
SO so frustrating because 2 of these big mistakes stemmed from things out of my control which you can't really anticipate or plan or prepare for.