Note
(sick) (rest day)
Slowly recovering from Sunday's "blip", and assessing the devastation to my year. I've now been sick seven months (mid October was the start of all this). I wasn't "better" in December; I was fooling myself. And I got caught out, big time (so much for taking "positive" action, then....).
Sunday's NASA Lean test result: in a nutshell, 9 minutes after standing up straight after 10 minutes lying down, my pulse (which had been 64 lying down) was:
106
(it went 94, 98 ,99, 89, 89 (hopes were up.....) but then .... 103, 95, 102, 100, 106, 101, then back to 64 and 58 lying down). (This is called Dysautonomia, ie. a dysfunction of the autonomic nervous system).
I think that tells us all we need to know about whether or not I'm "well" again. I'm certainly much improved, but there is a HUGELY long way to go, and 2022 is a .... write off from a sport/endurance point of view. Not sure I should even be here.
I may as well add, a few people have said "You'll be fine - you always bounce back from your setbacks, Phil!"
OK.
Read on.
My worst crash since 2000 has been 6 weeks (2020). I've now been unwell for seven months, and there is no end in sight, & I am not well enough to even do a part-time desk job (yet). (worth noting I worked full time 2004 - 2015 (losing no jobs to ill health), when I chose to stop office work myself).
All my previous crashes (some of which were utterly horrible) were caused by either over-exertion, (eg. a 39:56 10km in May 2020), or the Alps (going up them, sleeping in Alpine huts, glaciers, to be specific).
The difference this time is that this latest "crash" - sorry - "full relapse" - is that it was started *not* by over exertion, or some silly high peaks, but a NEW PATHOGEN (namely: a nasty vile small gastro virus).
So I have developed a NEW POSTVIRAL ILLNESS. Which has had it's new fun extra bits (eg. PoTS, IBS - the latter now resolved, thankfully). In many, many ways, this is vastly easier than the horrendous illness 1997 - 2002. And for that, I am grateful.
So I can only carry on, but my feeling is that it's not just 2022 that is a non-event for me, endurance-sport wise, but possibly the rest of my life.
Just like Kenny Stuart & Dave Cannon. Why would I be any different? CFS steals careers. Climbing, though..... hmmmmm (That's possibly more suitable). Or - golf? Yeah. Anyway.
If you've got this far, thanks for reading & have a good week. I managed a £57 trip to Aldi today, and a quick side trip to B&Q, so things aren't too terrible! :-) I just want to feel well every day, peeps.............