Note
Rhonda and I went to Asheville on Saturday to check up on my mother. She has been having an up and down ride since she was diagnosed with lung cancer in 2008. After some back and forth about her age (now 86, then 84), she had radiation treatments on both lungs in ’08, which seemed to do her some good. The following spring, after scans showed metastatis to her spine, among other places, and in consideration of her otherwise vigorous condition, she had a course of chemo. Pretty debilitating for her, and she couldn’t take the last treatment. Then in May ’09 she had a bout with some debilitating pain in her side. She complained vigorously to a neighbor (I believe it was on the order of “I can’t take it any more.”) who did something I think most folks would consider reasonable, but my mother thought of as unpardonable meddling: she called the ambulance. So mom was off to the hospital, and her oncologist pronounced her as only having a few months to live and told her to get into the hospice ASAP. So Rhonda and I went down there in May ’09, surveyed the situation and bailed her out on the promise of fixing her condo up for handicap accessibility (mostly the bathroom, and removing obstacles like doors), and hiring home health services. Mom got home and was pretty delighted to have escaped hospice. The pain resolved itself. Seems it was a soft tissue injury, which was what it seemed like to me based on the method of injury and the symptoms. It got better. She fired the home health aides after a week. Rhonda and I made another trip that summer and took her out hiking at the Arboretum, the Bird Sanctuary and the Botanical Gardens and she seemed to be well on the mend. In December she flew up here for the first time in several years, and met her two great-granddaughters who were in town.
Then around March of ’10 she started having pain in her arm. It started after a bout of snow shoveling, so we suspected soft tissue again, but then in May she broke her arm and it turned out the bone was weakened by a metastatic tumor. She spent about three weeks in hospice while they managed her pain and got her back on her feet, and then home again in June and on the mend.
About a month ago, another incident with severe and unexplained pain, in her mid-back. There are very few pain meds she can tolerate (nausea), and she got put on Dilaudid, which mostly did the trick, but ended up back in hospice about three weeks ago. Phone conversations got stranger as she descended into confusion and erratic conversation, and then into wheezing and shortness of breath.
So Rhonda and I headed down on Saturday morning. Her doc suspected a urinary tract infection as the source of at least some of the confusion. Elderly and compromised patients often become confused under the assault of an infection that would just be painful or annoying for a younger person. Now she is on antibiotics, a diuretic and a nebulizer, and she seems to be improving.
Her conversation is improving, but still pretty stressful to deal with. She has lost none of her loquacity, but each sentence is an adventure. Sometimes she searches for words and finds not quite the right one, sometimes she recounts various hallucinations (like the lion she saw standing behind Rhonda, or her discomfort at having to go to the bathroom in a church, or the often repeated “what does that sign say?” pointing to a place with no sign), sometimes the end of the sentence just has nothing to do with the beginning.
Yesterday, and then today on the phone she was much more lucid, but she is weak and having quite a bit of pain. Hard to say what the course of this will be. She has bounced back before, and may have a bounce or two left.
We were able to spring her for a few hours and take her to a movie. Saw “The Girl who Played with Fire”, which she enjoyed enormously. She is quite a Lisbeth Salander fan.
It is interesting what she told the doctor: The thing she is finding most frustrating is her inability to drive her car. I would never have guessed this to be important to her. She has never seemed at all comfortable behind the wheel (at any age), never driven anyplace she hadn't walked to first to check out. She bought her car new in 1996 and it now has 11,000 miles on it. She was never likely to end up in Buffalo.