Orienteering race 3:27:00 [3]
I knew going into it that this was going to be one of the toughest events of my life. Not because of the climb, or the weather, or the navigation, but because I was planning to do it with David. David was able to complete a Blue Hills Traverse - but that was when he'd been in shape from cross-country in the fall. He hasn't been doing any running lately. I knew he was likely to have a bad attitude and find the going difficult.
I thought it would be neat if he could win the shirt, since he had designed it. And I think he should get out and exercise more. So in a moment of weakness he indicated that he might be willing to go, and I signed him up.
I was out of town the two days previously, and the first he saw of me when I got back was at 6:50 am Sunday, waking him up. He was not in a good mood. I gathered the lovely Chelsea L from MIT, and then Brendan in Central Square, and a breakfast sandwich and a donut treat for David, and we headed back to the house for the first big challenge: getting David in the car. He was resisting and upset about not having good socks, and about wasting the entire day, and about this and that, but he did end up in the car. He had his computer with him and played computer games the whole way: Mario Brothers, and some Asteroids variant, and a game where you shoot zombies and they die in a puddle of blood. He was upset that I hadn't gotten him anything to drink. When I asked Dave to pull over at a service area for a Pepsi, David perked up long enough that I could introduce him to Chelsea, and he apologized for his mood, explaining he was expressing his reluctance to be there.
I brought the video camera but forgot to use it, which is probably just as well.
Just as we were leaving #1, David started talking about the summer schedule, in the usual complaining, accusing way. He wanted two weeks in Cambridge, accused me of not listening to what he wanted etc. I was slightly discombobulated because I was trying to get back to the trail, but once we were on the trail we talked about it, and I proposed a solution that he liked well enough. He perked up again as a result, and thanked me for talking about it, and was in a reasonable mood for 5 minutes. But other than that, he was mostly complaining and criticizing and a couple times I said that it would be nicer for both of us if he changed his attitude.
I decided to skip #2, because I figured the long side-hilling off-trail might discourage David early on. David hates dealing with vegetation, and he doesn't have good shoes for traversing slopes. Instead we got to take the high ridge trail with views, moving at a steady pace. That was pleasant. And then we could check on where #4 was on the way to #3. And just follow the stream of people down to #3. I also figured that by skipping early we might catch up with the main mass of people, and that might help David psychologically.
I was surprised to see Dave coming out of #3; he had trouble going to #2.
On the big climb back from #3 to #4, David got real fussy. The climb to #6 also put him off. Then on the way to #7, he fell and hurt his butt, and swore long and loud (as opposed to the more muttery constant swearing the rest of the time). I got him moving again, but he was in a pretty foul mood. I told him he could quit if he wanted, and he said he wanted to quit but then I'd be upset. I said he could keep on going with me, and he argued that if he did he would continue ruining my day with his bad mood. I said the bad mood didn't bother me, and he said that I was lying and it obviously bothered me, and he decided to quit. I left him at the trail midway between #7 and #8. He was teary, and I said it was perfectly fine to quit, and thanks for coming with me that far. "I'm not an orienteer, Mom," he said. I hugged him and went on.
At this point I was about 20 minutes behind the pace I had calculated we would need to maintain to make it to the finish in time. So I had to hustle. I really wanted that shirt. I caught up to Valerie & Janet at the manned halfway control. I had trouble getting to #13; I went too high and was caught by the trail. I think the problem there was being slightly distracted by some people on the steep trail heading up to it.
I had skipped already, so I had to hit all the remaining controls. Too bad, because I wouldn't have minded skipping #15.
At home in the evening, David said, "I was an asshole to you all day." That's OK, I said; I can handle it.
And you know what? I *can* handle it. What a great opportunity to practice letting a person have their own emotions, and staying centered and calm. Yay for teenagers! Now, if I can just bring that into more of our daily interactions...