Time for a little reflection. I was struck at the incipient parallels between my life and Fight Club. (I hope not the inexorable slide towards insanity.)
In Fight Club, as the narrator flits through the interstices between sleep and consciousness--as he travels through space and time--he starts to become aware of his fellow travellers. He sees the black eyes, the secret signals. And the ranks of the the "in crowd" begin to crowd out everything else and constitute their own reality.
So, what are the parallels? Somehow one can start to occupy this purgatory or alternative universe of the unemployed. Maybe you come across one other like yourself and you shrug it off. But, soon you find yourself seeing the same (growing) group of people everywhere. You have your handshakes, your furtive, knowing glances. You move among the "others" but you are your own species. Kind of like zombies among the living, somehow trying to fit in. Do the "others" see you? (Maybe this is the sensation that illegal aliens feel?)
Well, enough of the allegory. What I find crazy, and actually annoying is when the lies that people feel compelled to tell themselves are told to others. For instance, why say stuff like "having a blast networking and learning and talking to folks" or "so I am looking around. Very exciting and fun"? (That is from one person today, but a different individual essentially said the same thing this afternoon.)
So, either these people actually feel like this... God bless them. Or they are crazy. Or they are lying. Who knows. But, does enunciating thoughts like that make things better?
Finally, a question... is it better to be a person such that people understand 90%+ of you in 15 minutes or a person that will take people years or even a lifetime to understand? I never really cared about the answer to this question before, but I have concluded there is a limit to how self-reliant anyone can be.