Training Log Archive: Becks

I finally pretty much lost it this week. It's been a long time coming. I tried to relax after Rob's parents left and I just got more and more stressed until I couldn't sleep or think. Worried about career stuff, watching my oldest friend's house surrounded by water on the news and being unable to go and help her out, annoyed by the fact I had no friends to hang out with and do something fun with on New Year, (small number of friends elsewhere or baby'ed), and finally coming to the realisation, at 3am in the morning, that Kitch is right, it's not worth staying here until I get a tenure track job. I need to swallow my pride, come home, and do another post doc. My mental state so directly affects my health, and while all the medical indications are that I'm super healthy (except maybe a tad overweight, but who cares), I don't feel like I am. Getting out of bed yesterday was a big struggle, only achieved by pancakes (at lunchtime) and the promise of a State Park.

So, on Monday, the emails start going out. Oxford and Edinburgh first bets, and it also depends on Rob's progress through interviews (currently good). But it's better to be separate in the UK for a year or so than separate between continents.

I need to feel like I'm moving and I currently feel stuck. I love my O' friends, but they're too far away, and I love my workmates (and being in the lab actually), but I can't just work. I need music and more orienteering and love and life. And my Mum. I need my Mum.

Sorry for the self indulgence, but sometimes I don't think we talk about stuff like this enough.

So anyway, today Rob and I spent four hours or so writing a surprising amount of our paper (it's finally getting there!), and then I went for a run round the neighbourhood. Pushed to the tougher edge of cruising at the end but not beyond.

C • aliens in the trees 1

C • did you ever 3

C • I understand the sense of f... 2

Coach is killing me, so I redid the assessment. I obviously did it too fast because I pretty much have the same level workouts again now :s. Nemesis, didn't manage to do full climbers for the final round. Totally dead.