in: acjospe; acjospe > 2010-11-21;
Yes. That sounds like many experiences I have had this year. It's amazing what stress or anxiety can do to you. It's miserable. And they make it very hard to orienteer properly and have fun.
See, I'd read the experience completely differently, that you were wanting to practice for the Samantha Saeger speed talking competition at the CSU Orienteering Superstars, and not trusting your ability to prattle on at high speed after an ordinary run, you figured you needed an especially eventful run with all sorts of abuse to give you the proper raw material, but then since everyone had already gone home by the time you stumbled in, you were reduced to speed writing on your AP log.
Which was a very fine read, by the way. :-)
I've done this twice in my life. The first time I was trying to come back from glandular fever, and I was running round these cool sand dunes in Ireland and hating every step, watching people I used to beat by miles cruise past me with ease. I sat on a sand dune and cried. and then my friend Ben found me and suggested we hang this orienteering thing, move to Edinburgh and get drunk for three months. It was brilliant fun, and by the end it was time to go to Uni, get my act together, and I was desprate to get on a map again. And when I did, it was awesome!
The second time was on more sand dunes, again at the British Champs, and the same thing happened - I'd had a minor op with some small complications and I was just going backwards. I held off the crying till the end, when my coach found me and suggested a total change. 5 months later I'd run a 3.15 marathon and again, I was chomping at the bit to get on a map again.
Orienteering can be a thankless task master. The smallest dips in motivation, and the smallest lack of fitness have a hugely magnified effect when you're out in the forest. Differences that would not be that apparent on a track become huge when you're out in the forest. If you're not enjoying it, it's definitely time to take step back. Plugging away makes it fee worse and worse. You're at the perfect point to switch, focus on the skiing, healing the injuries, freshening up your brain and by the time it hits March, you'll either be desperate to get a map in your hand, or you'll fancy something else. But trying to squeeze too much in now won't give you the space to figure that out, and will probably end in being broken in some way.
I really hope to see you out there in the spring. But until then, don't beat yourself up about letting some things drop. You're human and you've taken on a ton of stuff. You don't have to do everything all the time.
B x x
I agree entirely. If stuff isn't going right with your work or other parts of your life, that can get in the way of you focusing on orienteering when in the forest, and every rock or branch starts to feel like a further insult and an added obstacle to your already stressful existence. Now that it's almost December, it's the prime time to take a break from orienteering - there's not a lot going on anyway. So do whatever you have to do to feel on top again! Feel better soon. :)
Stress and lack of sleep does that to you. When I'm stressed the littlest bit of pain causes large tears. Been there. The Blue Hills isn't terribly fun to run around when things aren't going well - training there can just be downright annoying - because things poke and hit you every step. But, as everyone else has mentioned, it's winter now and so you have lots of skiing to look forward to. :)
Thanks for all the kind words, guys. I'm working on getting things under control, but the commute to boston every weekend certainly isn't helping. At least a few days the semester will be over and I'll be in Sweden! (working on a take-home test, but that's minor).
This discussion thread is closed.