Discussion: Culvert Crawlin'

In response to many inquiries from my most loyal fan base, I regret that I must officially announce that I will not be defending my World Uphill Culvert Crawling Championship at the upcoming US Classic Championships. Further, I am hereby announcing publicly my retirement from culvert crawling competition. My experiences were thrilling and most rewarding, and on occasion even a little bit muddy, and I have no regrets as I cast a backwards glance on it all, but now I must be on my way.

Reigning World Uphill Culvert Crawling Champion and Record Holder,
--Swampfox

Especially because I actually hold the record. My result was erroneously reported as downhill, but it was uphill. Swampfox doesn't know this, because it happened before he got there.

If you didn't submit an official protest before the publishing of results, them I'm sorry, Swampfox's record still stands. I suppose you can drag him into the Court of Arbitration for Sport if you wish to go further.